The Best Strap-Ons & Harnesses for Seriously Sexy Strap Play
You’ve flirted with the idea. Maybe you’ve dabbled. Maybe you’re deep in your strap era. Wherever you are on your strapping journey, one thing’s for sure: the right harness can change everything. More control. More connection. More oh-my-god-don’t-stop moments.
Strap-on play isn’t just about penetration. It’s about power, pleasure, and possibilities. It’s about feeling strong in your body and offering up toe-curling bliss to your partner. It’s about being present, playful, and just the right amount of dominance.
And like so many things in sex accessories, not all straps are created equal. Some will leave you feeling powerful. Others? Just chafed, irritated and annoyed. So, let’s talk about how to choose one, why it matters, and which ones actually deserve a spot in your bedside drawer.
I’ve written a 32 page guide to strap-on sex that you can download if you’re keen, and have highlighted some things to think about below as well as reviewed some of the straps I’ve been enjoying.
Sticky Myths & Sexy Truths
Myth: Strap-ons are only for same-sex couples.
Reality: Straps are for anyone who wants to give. That’s it. No orientation required.
Myth: It’s all about penetration.
Reality: There’s grinding. Grinding. Grinding. And oh yeah—grinding. Plus teasing, spanking, sliding, sucking, external stimulation, and body-to-body pleasure. Thrusting is just one move in your playbook.
Myth: Using a strap makes me less feminine.
Reality: Strap play is deeply sexy, wildly intimate, and powerful AF. Gender? Optional.
Myth: You need a huge dildo to get started.
Reality: Please don’t. Start small, soft, and slow. Bigger isn’t better if it’s uncomfortable for anyone.
How to Pick the Right Strap & What to Know Before you Thrust
Donning a strap is fun. You’re not just wearing it - you’re dancing in it, grinding in it, and (if it’s good) forgetting you even have it on. Here’s what to keep in mind:
Harness Styles
Thong-Style (single strap): Less coverage, more access. Sexy, but might dig in during longer sessions. Can give extra stimulation on the vulva, and can only be worn by vulva owners.
Jock-strap (two strap): Supportive, comfy, and stays put. Often incredibly adjustable. Good for beginners and power-thrusters alike. Offers easy access to the juicy bits of the wearer.
Boxer Briefs: Soft, secure, and gender-affirming for many. Great for everyday wear + play. Easy to put on. Can feel less intimidating than a strap.
Thigh, Chin, & Chest Straps: For kinky creativity. Not a starting point, but oh so fun once you’ve got your moves.
Dual Stimulation: Some harnesses have the ability for the wearer to receive internal or external pleasure, too. This function can be found on many models.
The Dildo Situation
Size: start small, stay comfortable, and talk about size/shape with your partner.
Realistic vs. Abstract: Some folx want veins, others want vibes. Go with what turns you on.
Types: There are many, many varieties of dildos. They come in every shape, size, and mood. Some vibe, some squirt, some are just here for the aesthetic. Some allow you to add vibration, some allow for mutual penetration. Others will give both internal and external stimulation. Take your time. Ask questions. And don’t be afraid to add a few new friends to your collection as you go.
Fit, Feel & Communication
Wear your harness before you get into action. Before things start to get sexy. Adjust it. Walk around in it. Thrust into a pillow. Yes, really. Talk to your partner about what they want, what they don’t, and when to stop. Sexy + safe = the best sex.
My Bedside Collection: Straps I’ve Loved Lately
McHurt StrapOn Harness Classic: Leather Daddy Energy (for Any Gender) (link here)
Type: Adjustable, leather, two-strap harness with buckle fastening
Fit & Feel: Thick, durable, and unashamedly kinky. That leather? Chef’s kiss. A word of warning to the receiver - the buckles? Sharp enough to bite.
Best For: Experienced players, kinksters, rough-and-ready BDSM lovers. Those looking for long session wear.
Pair With: Literally any dildo you want - it’s verse.
Vibe: Tough love. This strap means business. The leather is soft, supportive, and built for serious play, but keep an eye on your partner’s thighs - the metal ends can be a little... aggressive. No vibe slot, but the dildo support is strong. Great for all genders, great for long sessions. Not for the faint of heart - or scent-sensitive (leather lovers only).
It’s not soft and sweet—it’s firm, filthy, and in full control.
Skin2 Sensual Suede Harness: Femme Domme Realness (link here)
Type: Suede, two-strap harness with corset back
Fit & Feel: Strong, sexy, and surprisingly sturdy. The corset detail is giving hot femme top, and those ladder-lock straps make this beauty snug like a dream with a quick pull.
Best For: Pegging, confident femmes, plus-size babes, femme dommes who want control and elegance, and those who want a strap that will last as long as they do.
Pair With: Your favorite dildo
Vibe: This one is for the power femmes. It’s soft to the touch but built for rough play, with a back that says, “yes, I look this good while I fuck.” Great investment if you’re upgrading from a starter harness. Bonus: hardwearing equals more control—and more confident thrusts. One word of caution - the suede may not stand up to staining of all lubes, so choose wisely. Water-based is probably best.
Think Dita Von Teese in a strap-on. Sensual, commanding, and not afraid to leave marks (emotional or otherwise).
Sh! Leather 2-Strap Dildo Harness: Starter Pack, But Make it Sexy (link here)
Type: Pull-tight, leather, two-strap harness
Fit & Feel: Soft, lightweight, no buckles, no drama. Padded at the pubic bone for max comfort.
Best For: Beginners, strap-curious, weekend getaways and those who love of intimacy over intensity.
Pair With: The kit comes with everything you need to get started: a dildo, lube, and toy cleaner. Just bring the vibes.
Vibe: This is the gateway strap - and she’s kind. Sh! is women-owned and British, and this strap is thoughtfully designed. Not ideal for advanced play, but it’s travel-friendly, beginner-approved, and sexy without being scary. It’s the kind of harness you’d slip into on a romantic weekend away, or introduce in a flirty ‘should we try it?’ moment. Easy to clean, soft against the skin, and no fiddly bits unless you count the rings (a small learning curve). A very thoughtful intro to strapping.
If this harness had a playlist, it would be all slow burn bangers with perfect bass.
Lovehoney Unisex Strap-On Brief: The No-Fuss, Ready-for-Action Option (link here)
Type: Brief
Fit & Feel: Soft, comfy, gender-affirming. Like wearing regular undies with benefits.
Best For: Everyday wear, shy tops, low-key kink, folks wanting less gear and or maybe some cheeky romps.
Pair With: Compatible dildos only - double-check sizing!
Vibe: These briefs are for babes who want to pack light (or pack all day). It gives ‘Netflix and Chill’ energy. Great for those exploring strapping for the first time, or for anyone who doesn’t want to wrangle buckles. Less directional control, less intensity, but great for first timers, and easy machine wash cleanup. There’s no access to the wearer in this style, which may be a plus or minus depending on your play, and it’s perfect for gentle or spontaneous action. Bonus points for being vegan and gender-affirming as hell.
Low-key, comfy, and no big deal—until it’s time to unzip the moment.
Final Thoughts From the Strap Side of the Bed
Strap-on play isn’t about being someone else. It’s about being fully you. Powerful, connected, and deeply present. The right strap lets you move, explore, and tease without losing rhythm or confidence. And when it’s good? It’s toe-curling, body-shaking, ride-me-until-I-forget-my-name kind of good.
Your pleasure deserves tools that work just as hard as you do.
Want More?
Ready to go deeper? Download my 32-page Guide to Strap-On Sex here.
Craving more cheeky reviews, sex-positive tips, and permission to play?
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Xoxo
Cherish Amber
